Hijack the TARDIS?
by Thornbrier
Summary: The TARDIS lets a hijacker aboard and things get weird in this very short story of reunion and reflection. This is not related to any of my past attempts at Doctor Who fanfic.


"Pilot, take off immediately!"

The Doctor shook a finger in the air over his shoulder, "Tisk tisk, River. You know we can't be meeting anymore. Our little blue book is closed. Just turn around and leave before either of us breaks a heart."

The Doctor's angry Scottish eyebrows furrowed as he felt the barrel of a rifle press into his back. The familiar voice spoke insistently, "I don't know who this River is, but if you don't launch this instant six cybermen are going to bust in here and kill us both. Now, I don't know how to fly this thing, but if you won't help, I'll remove you and try anyway."

The Doctor slowly rose his hands and turned around, a perturbed curiosity in his eyes. The woman behind him looked vaguely like a young River Song, younger than he'd ever seen her in that body, and the vocal similarity was more than passing. "Hmm. No, they won't."

The front door of the TARDIS rattled on its hinges as several hands struck with the force of a couple hundred bodybuilders. The woman looked to the door in fright and the Doctor quickly yanked the weapon away. With programmed reflexes she tripped the old Gallifreyan and rested control of the firearm, aiming it at his head. "I really don't want to kill you, but I might just if you do something like that again. I'm, I'm not sure I'll be able to hold it back second time. Now, please, launch us before they get in."

Claxons began to sound all around the console chamber. A younger, moppy not-red-headed Doctor hologram appeared on the stairs holding his sonic screwdriver pointed at the console. "Oh, oh, is it going now? Right. Um, Amy, which message am I recording right now?" He leans over to the side slightly before righting himself. "Ah, yes, thank you Pond. Um, hello me, and um, me. If this message is playing then clearly there's two of me aboard the TARDIS, and that's either really really bad, or … well, it could be really fun too. I mean, there are some things I've thought of doing that I could really only do with another me." The angry eyebrows shoot up the older Doctor's forehead, surprised at his younger self. "No? Too much? Ok, sorry Rory. Didn't mean to make a Centurion blush. Anyway. Me and me, you listening? What am I saying, this is a recording, you aren't going to be talking back at me. As a security measure, sweeety, sexy, uh, would you please put any and all versions of me aboard you into a quantum stasis until they remember to say the password I've just loaded? Thank you my love."

Just as the previous Doctor's hologram vanished the mysterious woman was suddenly pulled away from the Doctor and shimmering energy fields surrounded both of them.

"NO NO NO!" She screamed hoarsely, the sound muffled just a little by the energy wall as she pounded with limp fists. As exhaustion set in she slumped down the back energy wall and wiped tears, sweat, and regolith from her dirty face. "We can't be stuck now, we've got to get going. I- I've watched those metal men kill too many of my friends. The few friends who trusted me, and I got 'em killed. It took me, it took months to trap them on this moon, we can't let them get your ship and leave, not now. I have to find a cure for them. I, I have to keep them from killing any more. But I can't even do that now."

The Doctor stood and pressed a pair of fingers against the energy field holding himself. "Well, I can promise you miss, unless those Cyberfriends have more at their disposal than standard issue rifles and mechanical muscles, they won't be getting through that door. Six cybermen on their own can't hit it with more than Genghis Khan's horde did. But my question is, who are you, and why are you in my...? No, no, that's actually a terrible question, at least, if you are who you the TARDIS thinks you are, which is me. But somehow, I don't think you are me. Which means, you must be someone else, obviously. Of course, she would have to be someone else if she's not … Point is, we can't get out of here until one of us remembers to say that password."

"What password?"

"The one that my past-self gave the TARDIS a couple hundred years ago. But that was a whole life ago for me, maybe more for you. Hard to remember through something like that, right?"

The woman looked over to the wooden front doors, wincing with every slam from her friends outside. Just a couple more and the pounding stopped. "Yeah, I suppose so." She held her rifle in front of her knees. "Second time I died I'd forgotten what it felt like. It hurt, but it was a rush too. And, I really died big time, not just a bullet to the heart, I was gone. Burned up in a rocket engine for my crimes. I tried not to kill anyone, but they just kept fighting, and I couldn't stop. Everywhere I go, it's like the only solution is more violence."

"I see. If you're a hammer every problem looks like a nail." The Doctor's quantum stasis field dropped and he stepped over to the console. "Well then, it sounds like you should travel with me. I can teach you about what we are." He put on his sonic sunglasses and looked her over. "Well, mostly." He put them back on the console and stepped toward her bubble. "At the very least we can figure it out together, and this would be the safest place for,... someone like you."

She stood up, "What do you mean, 'what we are?' How am I like you?"

"Aside from the both of us not dying when we're dead? Oh, don't you see? Don't you get it? That message… you're in that bubble because you are me, sort of. So, what do you say, want to come with me? Travel across the universe, help people? We might even discover a cure for cyberization. The Doctor and Jenny, in the TARDIS, as it should be. Just pick a destination and we could be off, just the two of us."

She gripped her gun firmly, "That is what I told you when I came in here. And how do you know my name?"

He stepped closer, "Yes, it is, and now I know why the TARDIS let you in. Because, um, please put that down, I'm sure you remember that I'm not a very big fan of guns." A loud whining screech emanated from the front doors. "And it sounds like your friends out there are. Deep bore mining laser by the pitch of it. They worked that out quick, it might just be enough to penetrate our shields. Now, you see, I ask if you want to come with me because you clearly need me to teach you, and I need a traveling companion. I'm told I need one anyway. I can get very sulky and sullen without one. And Nadur is less a companion than a nanny, almost a mum, but then you'd be less a companion and more a … Oh, oh, right, if you want out of that field then you just need to think of saying 'Raspberry lemon drop.'"

"Raspberry lemon drop?" Her face grew more concerned as the doors started to glow a bright yellow-white.

"No no, listen to what I said, 'think of saying' it. Don't actually say it. And be quick about it, Jenny, we've got an awful lot of running to do."


End file.
